Today, Niko described a classmate as 'fat'. It was the most innocent use of the word I've ever seen. He said he learned a kid's name at school. I asked what she looked like. He said she always wears a blue or a pink sweater and she's fat. Just a matter-of-fact descriptor.
I know who he is talking about and she is in fact a bigger girl. Not obese and not unhealthy looking, but definitely the roundest body in the class.
I had to tell Niko that 'fat' is not really a kind word. That people don't like to be called 'fat'. And he felt so bad. I made sure to explain that he didn't do anything wrong and that it was okay because he didn't know. But that there were other things he could say next time to describe someone besides their size/weight.
The thing that made my heart sad is that Niko asked why.
Why is 'fat' not a kind word? Because skinny is desirable. Because nobody wants to be seen as fat. Because our culture has determined that one particular body size and shape is so far superior to any other. None of that has ever crossed Niko's mind before. Nor has the fact that someone might dislike their body or a part of their body. Maybe it's because he's a boy or maybe it's because he's only 4 years old, but the idea of looking in the mirror and sighing is miles away for him.
I didn't tell him any of this, of course, but I feel like I've just perpetuated a majorly flawed societal belief system. Even if he didn't get it, I've planted the seeds and I'm sad. What else could I have done?
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