My Brother

For a while now I have struggled to communicate with my brother.  My brother has a very strong personality and I have had difficulty with his tendency to see everything as black or white as well as with his defensiveness.

Over the last few years I have tried to reach out to him a few times, only to feel shot down repeatedly.  He does not ever answer his phone and he is very slow at returning calls.  His preferred methods of communication are all connected to the iGadgets I choose not to have.  So this leaves us with only email, which even then it sometimes feels like he merely skims and shoots back something snarky.  I, too, excel at being snarky, so you can imagine where that leads.

After another one of these email exchanges, I finally resisted the urge to fight back and made myself vulnerable instead.  My words were "I am not trying to make this about your choice/use of technology.  I am not trying to be snarky.  I am just saddened by where things are at in our relationship.  I miss you."

I suppose it may have been bordering on a guilt trip, but it was an honest statement about where I'm at.  It was a bit risky to hit send, but I was so thankful that he took it as it was intended.  He called me back later that day (WOW!) and we talked for almost half an hour about the struggle our communication has become.  I feel like he has understood where I am coming from, even if he doesn't quite get why I am not choosing his iMethods of communication.  And I understand more about his choices and reasoning.  He apologized for where he as failed me and I appreciate that so much.

I hope we can both respect each others' choices and not make our limited communication be sarcastic shots at each other.

Keep me humble, Father.