My parents. Mom and Dad gave me such a strong foundation of faith and an understanding of Jesus' love for me and everyone around me. They modeled the routine of regular devotions, the importance of church community, the habit of prayer, the necessity of asking for forgiveness, and so many of the basics of Christianity.
Young Peoples. Pastor Bob was a powerful teacher in my teenage years. He encouraged deep thinking and exploration of faith questions. He created an atmosphere of camaraderie amongst the large group and of safety in the small group. I was challenged in taking my faith seriously, in making it my own, and in being bold about what I believe.
Respite. Working with kids with severe special needs grew my faith again in terms of seeing God as a good Creator and also seeing him as so far above. I came back to two verses over and over:
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9
"All things were made through him; without him nothing was made that has been made." John 1:3
and grappled with the question of why bad things happen to innocent children. Some areas of my black-and-white faith of teenagehood greyed during this time.
Bible School. Learning the whole storyline of the Bible in a short amount of time gave me a whole new understanding of Scripture and the God of history. I came to appreciate God's word and the context it provides. The reading, the memorizing, and the studying of the Bible became of far more importance to me than ever before.
Loneliness. I met God the comforter after Bible school. Returning home was very difficult for me. My high school friends had scattered and I was starting over. My youth group had changed to a college & career group that I was uncomfortable in. My family relationships had changed as I had become more confident and independent. School (CMU) was a place I worked to get all my reading and homework done between classes, so I did not connect there either. I clung to the memory of community I'd had at Bible school. To the memory of adventure I'd had there.
Lithuania. Looking for another adventure, I got another growth spurt of my faith. In Lithuania I made the God of nations. I met a God who looked different for my friends from Lithuania, Latvia, Albania, and America. And a God who looked oddly familiar. Many things got greyer still as I worked out questions of faith only to find more questions.
Rhythm. I found a new and meaningful expression of communing with God in my djembe playing. I often think of the verse that talks about the Spirit interceding with groans too deep for words. I've often experienced the Spirit speaking through rhythm what I couldn't even put words too and I love it so.
Bernie. Marriage has taught me about long-term relationships. When I struggle with an aspect of my faith, I find myself often comparing it to my relationship with my husband and thinking about how I approach that issue when it is with a tangible person I love. In that way, I have met the God my husband. It helps to compare the two relationships and know that the feelings and experiences I have toward Bernie are magnified a thousand times between God and I.
Parenting. Becoming a mother has opened my eyes to my shortcomings. I am brought to my knees so often in repentance and in seeking wisdom. It has made me more reliant on God for daily grace and patience than ever before. And it forces me to put my faith into as explainable words as possible. I've had to steer clear of Christian words and phrases that are more of a reflex than they are meaningful to make sure I'm speaking to me kids in real words that they can understand.
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