It was dark and the sound of the water under the bridge was so relaxing. The ice cream and the moon invited us both deeper, it seemed. We bantered back and forth, expressing some frustrations and possible solutions. The commentary very telling about where we were at and the different places we were coming from. Yet an understanding of gentleness and friendship made it feel very safe.
Fist-clenching opinions gave way to heart-wrenching feelings as you shared about the last time you saw your dad. It was so real and so raw. I knew in that instant, that you were letting me in deeper. Into a place not every friend got to visit or speak into.
I tiptoed close to the edge of openness, wanting to share my real thing too. A deep breath, a tiny step and I would have soared over the precipice, allowing you to know my heart a little more. But I hesitated. There is risk in being known. I second-guessed and before I knew it the moment was gone.
But with Him, my second-guessing is irrelevant. I don't have to feel that heart-fluttery wondering or take a deep breath, deciding whether to share that thing that feels too close. Because He knows. He knows before I realized it myself. He knows and it didn't shock Him. He knows and it didn't make Him question me or doubt me or judge me or mock me. It didn't even make Him love me any less. And in the moment of closeness with Him, when I could bare all or not, I don't even have to make the call. Because He knows and I am safe in the knowing.
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