You have the Words

O Lord, to whom would I go?

To the world of friends and supporters I have built up around myself.  To encourage, to corroborate, to challenge, to enliven.  And they do.  But they cannot speak into the places I have not let them see.

To the mothers who know what day in and day out kids feels like.  To understand, to sympathize, to commiserate, to inspire.  And they do.  But they, too, cannot speak into the cracks that are so deep and thirsty.

To the internet with its (over)abundance of stories and ideas.  To be seen, to be heard, to be declared worthy.  And it does.  But it, especially, cannot speak into the real-ness of my real needs.

To my husband who loves me so fully and unconditionally.  To build up, to fill up, to hold up, to open up.  And he does.  But he cannot speak fullness when he is so drained.  He cannot be expected to single-handedly sustain me.

But You have the words that give life.  Thank you, Jesus.  I praise You for being the one who encourages, corroborates, challenges, enlivens, understands, sympathizes, commiserates, inspires, sees me, hears me, declares me worthy, builds me up, fills me up, opens me up, and holds me up.  Your words are the words I need to hear.  They bring light out of darkness and life out of death.  You speak truth.  You speak from a place of grace and gentleness and compassion.  Let my words be few as I learn to hang on every word that comes from Your lips, O Lord.