In this weekend's warp-to-the-future experience, I got to see my cousin's family with kids ages 7 to 11. Their 16-month average gap between kids is even more ambitious than our 19- and 21-month gaps. To watch them on the flip-side of tantrums and hitting and dependence was a tantalizing tease and also an energizing encouragement.
As they talk of the difficulty of the two's and three's it is with such a different perspective than most of the stories I hear. Because the stories that surround me are told in the exhausted voices of those in the middle of these hope-sucking challenges.
But these guys? They are a few miles ahead on the parenting road. They remember well the aroma of a dirty diaper and the pitch of a frenzied tantrum, yet their memories are of years gone by - not of yesterday morning. They have already persevered, shed tears, prayed for wisdom, and come out victorious on the other side.
And the other side looks amazing. Calm voices and tempered emotions. Skills and independence. Responsibility and helpfulness. Respect and reason. And also so much of the good I am already familiar with. Jokes and sillies. Hugs and cuddles. The joy of accomplishment.
I will not dream endlessly of the days to come.
But I will try to keep their perspective in mind when fighting the daily battles and struggling with strong wills. It is worth it. It is for a purpose. One day I will see what I have been working, sweating, praying, hoping, loving, guiding, disciplining, explaining, teaching, striving, and believing for. At that point parenting won't be accomplished, but it will have changed. And at the lowest point of the day or the week, all I need is the hope that the challenges will change.
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