Filled and Overflowing

A weekend away from normal, hours of uplifting conversation, many laughs between girlfriends, the kind of sharing that connects people, worshipping with 9,000 women, and soaking in such great speakers have left me filled.  I arrived at the conference in "a pretty good place" with Jesus.  A place that seemed better and better every time I heard what other people are dealing with.

So I am thankful.  Thank you, Jesus, that we could afford the financial cost of the weekend.  Thank you that Bernie is such a competent father and was willing to look after the boys.  Thank you that each of the kids was in a place where they could handle me leaving.  Thank you that we were all at full health.  Thank you that we have so much family who can help out.  Thank you that Syl was willing to go with me.  Thank you for the pain and hurt you have spared me in my life.  Thank you for my roots.

And thank you for being with me in this place of goodness, where I can go and soak up truth and your story.  There are many snippets that are ringing in my ears still, but the underlying thread is your story.  I was moved to hear of how powerfully present you have been in so many people's lives - from the speakers to the music artists to the people I travelled with.  I was challenged to remember no matter where I am right now, every part of my life and faith journey is a season.  And that you are most powerfully present when you seem to be most apparently absent.

I feel filled, Jesus.  I feel filled from this weekend and I want it to overflow.  It is so easy and natural for me to overflow your love onto my friends, neighbours, and acquaintances.  It is easy to see their needs and acknowledge them.  That comes naturally for me.

But I want this filling to overflow onto my family.  The place where I am more stressed and less polished than anywhere else.  Onto my husband, who sees the worst of me.  Onto my kids, who see the most of me.  Onto the ones who are already predisposed to being annoyed by me.