If I let myself engage the fears, they sound like this:
What if our kids can't handle having other kids around all the time?
What if our kids can't handle sharing us?
What if our village doesn't support us?
What if our village doesn't know how to support us?
What if Bernie resents me for this?
What if our kids can't handle foster kids leaving?
What if I can't handle foster kids leaving?
What if the kids are impossible to manage?
What if we have to sacrifice good things?
What if it's too expensive?
What if it's too complicated?
What it it's too tiring?
What if it's too difficult?
What if I can't do it?
What if I am wrong?
But if I let myself engage the hopes, they sound like this:
What if the seed for this was planted with Jackie and Sheena?
What if He grew this in me through Alex, Lindsay, Marshall, and Emily?
What if He gave me words like 'unloved' and 'unlovable'?
What if He broke my heart for Jordan and Victoria?
What if He stirred uneasiness with each snippet of story from acquaintances, news media, and blogs?
What if He gifted me with this compassion?
What if He is growing me in humility and confidence?
What if He is drawing me to Him for something greater?
What if I don't take the easy way out?
What if He entrusted me with an idea that would change my world?
What if He entrusted me with an idea that would change HIs world?
What if I believe that this is of Him?
What if I don't?
God, You are my hiding place. Today I collect both my hopeless fears and my fearful hopes, seal them up tight and hide them in You. I trust You to keep them safe and turn them into songs of fearless hope to deliver me when the time is right.
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