Not Quite Wanted

They like me, right?  I think they do.  No, they DO.  I know they do.  And yet...  And yet I can't quite shake the feeling of not quite being wanted.  Like it doesn't really matter if I can come or not.  Like they are being nice for remembering to invite the married mother-of-three in the first place.  I know they cannot mean it like that.  I know they cannot understand or be expected to understand the desire to spend time with my family, the difficulty of a spontaneous weekend away, the financial strain of 5 people living on one salary, the pressure of making sure my kids don't mess with their fun, the guilt of leaving them with my husband too long or too often.  And I don't know that I really want to be included and invited to everything so that I just end up having to say no and end up feeling guilty and disappointed.  I don't even know what I want - except to not feel like an afterthought.  I want to feel wanted.