My neighbour and her sons came over today. Her oldest son and my oldest son are having similar issues right now. Tears, anger, hitting, rudeness, disrespect, and general melt-downs abound - and apparently not only in my house, but across the street as well. And somehow it makes me feel better.
Regardless of my confidence in many of my parenting decisions, when Niko becomes (for a period of minutes, hours, or days) a terrible person to be around, I wonder if I am failing him. I wonder whether I could be doing something different, if I should be doing something different, if other kids don't do these things, if other parents deal with things in more effective ways. On the good days I am patient and calm. On the bad days I eat a lot of chocolate. But regardless of the day, when someone else's kid is displaying my kid's worst behaviours in my very own basement....somehow I feel better. I feel reassured that maybe my son is more normal than I had assumed. I feel the sense of camaraderie that unites us parents who all don't know. I feel reminded that my efforts are eternally valuable, regardless of whether it looks like change is happening in the moment.
This is also why, when I pass the parent of a tantrumming toddler in the store/church/library/mall I smile knowingly on the inside and smile encouragingly on the outside. I have been there before, I will be there again, and we're all in this together.
Pass another helping of that grace, please, and I will share it with my neighbour as well.
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