I'm losing my mind and I'm losing my voice. Incessant whining and selfish entitlement are sucking me dry. How did they get so irritating, self-centered, unlikable? I raise my voice in frustration more times than I am willing to admit. Because I know I am supposed to be patient, be kind, model love, and model grace. I am the adult, the parent, the role model, the bigger person. I know this time is short and these battles will drift away too quickly. I know my time of influence is so limited and so critical. I know what I want to be to them. I know what I want to teach and instill. But they hover and grumble and demand and never stop. And I am just so weak. I don't deserve this responsibility. I don't have enough to give. I am so weak to resist the impulse to be aggravated again.
With the psalmist I cry out, "Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am weak."
And then I praise with all the confidence this pitiful soul can muster today, "Thank You, O Lord, that (of all the options) You respond to my weakness with mercy. Thank You, Lord. Thank You, Lord."
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