They are going to ask me today how I am doing.  Sometimes it is easier than what you see.  Sometimes it is harder.  Sometimes it is calmer, sometimes wilder.  Sometimes I am calmer, sometimes angrier.  There are times when I am just doing.  Not much emotion attached, be it positive or negative.  Quite possibly a self-preservation technique as much as just exhaustion.  But there are so many times when I am both melting and swelling on the inside.  So many moments that I wish the camera could capture in their adorableness, heart-warmingness, growingness, hilariousness, memorableness, noisiness, ridiculousness, honest to goodness.  I just want to slow down and breathe in the tops of their heads and the bottoms of their feet.  I love them so and I desperately want them to know.