I have been asking, prodding, worrying, wondering, praying, pondering, pushing, speculating, and crossing off my mental list all the things that aren't wrong. So I am very glad that she told me some of what is going on. It feels like I can stop running on the same hamster-wheel in my mind. I finally have some answers and a picture of what/why/how this is a difficult time for her.
So now I start running the hamster-wheel in the other direction and realize that I have just replaced one endless cycle with another. I know, but there is nothing I can do. And hence I can just continue to worry for other reasons. How will she deal with that issue? What can she possibly do about this other one? Who can she go to? Is there anyone that can help? What does she need? How can she figure out what she needs? What can I do to show her that I care?
This loop feels as hopeless as the last.
But I am thankful that she ended my last one. Thankful that she was willing to talk. I know it's hard. And now I know why.
You can trust me with that information. You can trust that I will treat it gently, with the respect and tender compassion it deserves. It will find a home somewhere in my heart and God will water it and maybe one day I will see what ideas grow. Maybe one of them can be an encouragement to you.
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